Welcome to Yossel's Toessels!

Page Eight

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"He should have called it the 'Alien Deflector' Toessel corrects "Shelly", obviously enamored with her new find. One of the nation's primary "ufologists", Shelly thinks that her cadillac toessel could be the key to surviving the next 'harvest'. "You betcha. When the little greenies come down, they're going to make those crucial alien/human distinctions based primarily on the shape of our heads. And what could look more alien than this?" [More!]

"Everybody loves Gunther, and that's really the point of all of it", remarks German-born animator "Matthias", whose Emmy award-winning animated television series for children, The Sauerkraut Rascals is now in its fifth year. "I'm trying to build a bridge of understanding between this country and its German-American immigrants, and what better way than by relating the foibles and misadventures of five lovable, plump, sauerkraut-eating scamps?" [More!]

"Today's my day off, and Smiles the Clown doesn't smile on his day off", cautions "Derek", renowned as the world's only one man circus. "People simply don't appreciate how much work it is to take tickets, do a clown routine, and get yourself into the Human Cannonball costume in under five minutes. And that's not even taking into account making the popcorn." [More!]

"The first step in turning horses into humans is to treat them like humans", claims "Tess", the author of the controversial genetic work, Act and Evolve. Her theories on the mutability of DNA have proven quite explosive in some quarters; may accuse her of fraud. "Narrow minds, narrow genes", chides Tess. "With attitudes like that, I'll have gills and a third eye long before my detractors. [More!]

	"He should have called it the 'Alien Deflector' Toessel corrects "Shelly", obviously enamored with her new find. One of the nation's primary "ufologists", Shelly thinks that her cadillac toessel could be the key to surviving the next 'harvest'. "You betcha. When the little greenies come down, they're going to make those crucial alien/human distinctions based primarily on the shape of our heads. And what could look more alien than this?" [More!]
	"Everybody loves Gunther, and that's really the point of all of it", remarks German-born animator "Matthias", whose Emmy award-winning animated television series for children, The Sauerkraut Rascals is now in its fifth year. "I'm trying to build a bridge of understanding between this country and its German-American immigrants, and what better way than by relating the foibles and misadventures of five lovable, plump, sauerkraut-eating scamps?" [More!]
	"Today's my day off, and Smiles the Clown doesn't smile on his day off", cautions "Derek", renowned as the world's only one man circus. "People simply don't appreciate how much work it is to take tickets, do a clown routine, and get yourself into the Human Cannonball costume in under five minutes. And that's not even taking into account making the popcorn." [More!]
	*"The first step in turning horses into humans is to treat* them like humans"*, claims "Tess", the author of the controversial genetic work, Act and Evolve. Her theories on the mutability of DNA have proven quite explosive in some quarters; may accuse her of fraud. "Narrow minds, narrow genes", chides Tess. "With attitudes like that, I'll have gills and a third eye long* before my detractors. [More!]