Caryn Huberman:
As a close friend of Jos's mother I've known him for many years.
My most vivid memory is him at our play reading.
His mother and I had written a play.
Before producing this play we gathered a group of friends,
each to read one of the actors.
We gave Jos the part the villain, Mr. Green. I can still hear his rich, deep resonant voice reading Green, and Jos quickly transforming this bad guy into Mr. Charming. I thought to myself, we'd better re-write it so the audience doesn't fall in love with this character!
Jos always had a way -- whether on the phone, or when I stopped by to work on some project with Diane -- of making me smile, laugh, feel totally happy. When Jos was in the room, the room was filled with love and crazy, crazy fun. His sweet and playful teasing of his mother--was boyish, zany, and gallant all mixed up in one. I think Jos loved seeing his own mother blush like a young girl when he complimented her or gently teased her.
He teased me too.
It's been quite a while since I was forty (40---ahh, 40!!!).
Jos made it seem perfectly natural when he
announced to all the play readers that
"Caryn is the most beautiful 40 year old woman in Palo Alto."Of course, I loved it! How could a 24 year old come up with that?-- and why would he? I'll never forget it. Even now, Jos is with me every day, particularly when I laugh at something quirky or outrageous.
The other nice memory of that play-reading day was seeing Jos and his father in the kitchen--he tall and slim, handsome--towering over his dad but their heads leaning towards one another--talking and talking and talking. It was a lovely father-son time of intimacy and closeness within the social time of the reading. The two had carved out a space to be close and to talk while the rest of the gathering flowed around them. I sensed a lot of love flowing. The connection of parent to child was enormously strong for Diane too. Jos clearly adored them both and knew of the joy they took in him and with him.
He lifted each of us. He lifted me out of the ordinary and into the extra-ordinary. That was a gift he gave to everyone he touched, every moment we were with him. I am among the hundreds, thousands, of people, both women and men, who loved Jos and still love him and think of him daily. He set an example of how to be alive. It is an example I try hard to emulate.