From cousin David [aged 14]: When I first heard the news I was absolutely shell-shocked. How could this happen? This isn't possible. This is Jos, we're talking about - the Josman, laugh-a-minute Jos, irreverent, witty Jos, caring, considerate Jos. It just seemed like some horrible dream. Even when I accepted it it really didn't hit me. Jos is dead. What is dead? Dead is just a word, Death itself doesn't bother me. It's when you realize that that person won't be there any more. It wouldn't be until I just remembered a great line from the Simpsons, or I'd be staying up late watching a movie and that's when it would hit me.

I was constantly trying to find something I could make in exchange for a toessel. The other day I was making some movies with my friends on a camcorder. They were so funny; I thought, this is it! I finally got my toessel. When I found out about Jos it just came to me: There will never be another toessel. There will never be another anything from Jos. No visits, no lunches, no jokes, no handshakes, no hugs.

I had hoped to know Jos more as I grew older. He was a real role-model for me. He was funny, likeable, successful. These are all things I wish to become myself. I know there is no bright side to this tragedy, nothing could outweigh the loss, but there is a proverb that is very true in this situation: It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all. Jos really brought happiness to the lives of everybody he met. He inspired me to accomplish greater things; even if I never get that toessel, I'll keep trying. Maybe, if I achieve great things in life, when I pass away Jos will be waiting with one for me.

I really don't know what to say. I know that nothing I can say will make it better, make the pain lessen. But, like my dad said to me earlier, Jos always did well wherever he went and he's doing well wherever he is now. Love, David