"I'm quite fond of most opportunities to drop a positive rhyme," claims crossover hip-hop artist "Jos-E-Jos". His latest breakthrough album "You Would be Better Off If You Prepared Yourself, Because I Have Something I Wish To Express" flew off store shelves almost overnight. Why such rapid movement from a new artist? "My boss at RecordLand told me that if I didn't take the album off the shelves, I'd be fired. He didn't think much of the papa bear toessel either.

With this level of fame, it's tough to go outside. Hammer, Ice, LaToya, they've all said it. When you achieve atmospheric popularity, you trade in a certain amount of your privacy. Not unlike yesterday, when I was at the grocery, purchasing an apple, I thanked the man behind the counter. As soon as he heard my voice, he produced a bat, and looked as if he was going to pummel me with it. "So you're the one! I'm going to kill you!" he started screaming. I think he was referring to my latest promotion. Customers who would come into RecordLand, to obtain some musical selections, I would slip my own CD into the case. They wouldn't know until they got home. A pleasant surprise really: instead of hearing the latest from the Wu-Tang Clan, they had a chance to sample some real talent. I think these "switches" accounted for most ... wait ... all of my actual sales. And other than this rather unfortunate incident with the merchant, I think that it's been quite good for all involved. Wearing a ridiculous hat with ears keeps it all from going to my head. Peace out.